Love in a Life
by phaedraphelan
Summary: Sherlock returns from London and he and Joan have to come face to face with their feelings about each other. What will they do now? This is essentially a rewrite based on certain elements in season three.
1. Chapter 1

**Love in a Life**

**Chapter one**

**By phaedraphelan**

**Word count: 5,664**

Summary: Sherlock comes to grips with his need to return to New York, but will he and Joan come to the conclusion that will resolve the problems they have had. What is going to happen to them? This is an ongoing rewrite of sorts, based on what we are seeing in Season three with plenty of Joanlock. Tell me what you think.

Disclaimer: Elementary and it's characters are the property of CBS and no copyright infringement is intended.

**Sherlock had to come back to New York. He had tried to convince himself that he missed the cases with the NYPD, that even it was the weather that was so much more pleasant most of the time than London. He had even found a young woman to mentor, hoping to replicate his success in how he had trained Joan to practice all his deductive skills. Actually he had been miserable the whole time that he had been away from the city, away from his brownstone, away from Joan.**

**As he sat in a taxi from JFK to Brooklyn, he fell completely silent, reflecting on what lay ahead. His young protégée, Kitty, had an annoying habit of constantly chattering that he had finally been able to close out completely when he desired to. The timbre of her voice in itself was irritating and the fact that she was so young made her unable to even understand certain events of the eighties and nineties in context despite her brightness. He had really chosen her because she was guaranteed to be exactly the kind of female that he would never have any attraction to. Her demeanor was more that of a bratty teenager than a balanced young woman. Sherlock knew also that he was able to conduct himself impeccably with any female. **

**For female companionship he basically had had no one while in London. He still occasionally sought out a prostitute or picked up someone in a bar or restaurant, when he was especially hard pressed, but he had become essentially a loner. The whole experience of Mycroft and Joan had shaken him so that, for the first time in his life, he truly began to doubt himself as being attractive to the opposite sex. Why had Joan taken Mycroft rather than him? Didn't she sense how he felt about her? She had inhabited his passionate dreams almost since the beginning of her time with him as a sober companion.**

**Joan was the woman he knew better than anyone. He knew her feminine cycles so well that he could read her moods like a book. When they lived together, he had gone so far as to routinely go into her bedroom and pick out her clothes for her from her personal closet. He even would sit in her room all night at times. while she slept when insomnia and _akathisia_ would not release their grip on him. **

** That morning when he had walked into Mycroft's apartment and had found him and Joan in bed together was easily nearly the worst moment of his life. The only moment worse was when Joan was abducted by Le Milieu and her life was in jeu. That was after Mycroft had confronted him, rubbing Sherlock's own feelings for Joan in his face and then revealed the level of insensitivity he himself was capable of by taking Joan sexually for himself in her moment of emotional weakness after the kidnapping. Sherlock had tried to toss it all off with his characteristic wit and sarcasm but he had been deeply wounded. Tears still rushed to fill his eyes when he remembered that moment. But at the same time he knew that he would forgive her if she ever gave him the opportunity. There was no rancor in him, only need.**

**When Sherlock first laid eyes on Joan after his return, everything came rushing back in upon him in an avalanche of feelings for her. He humbled himself to ask her to partner with him again. Sherlock had no pride left, no sarcastic remark, just a sincere pleading on his part to her to allow him to be a part of her life once again. She was the most beautiful person to ever grace his life and he knew it. He sensed that she was not completely happy because he saw that same sadness in her eyes that he had seen the first day they met. That fellow Andrew was following her around. Yes, she had always admitted that she needed male attention . . . going on those infernal dating sites to find someone that would strike her fancy and this Andrew was just the latest, a likable enough fellow, but Sherlock knew that she was just trying to fill a void in her life with Andrew.**

**As they began to work to solve cases together again, Sherlock realized more than ever why he wanted to partner with Joan again. He had brought Kitty to live in the brownstone, really because there was no other place to put her. Having her there was necessary, but he had no desire to be constantly around her and he also had no desire to interfere with the social life that she would naturally seek out in the city. He was definitely going to keep their relationship on a purely business level. But his desire to be on some sort of footing with Joan was a completely different matter.**** And Sherlock was at his wit's end as he tried to get on some terms with Joan again. She seemed to be determined to keep him at arm's length no matter how he tried to break through and get close to her again.**

**Finally, as a last resort, he decided to contact Dr. Candace Reed, the therapist that Joan had regularly visited during their time together. He had encouraged Joan to go back to Dr. Reed for help in the wake of the kidnapping, but he did not know whether Joan had done so. Dr. Reed's receptionist cheerily made an appointment for him and so he showed up at her office the week following the resolution of their case involving the Bella computer.**

**The Bella computer itself was a fascination to him. He found himself asking about "love" before he realized it and was interested to hear the computer say that love was something of human construct, but at the same time unable to determine why the fact of it existed. Sherlock shocked himself when he admitted that he had loved in the case of his mother, Irene, and currently in the case of Watson. He had more and more come to appreciate that he loved Joan, but was at a loss as to what to do about it. The months of separation had helped him to deduce that what he felt for Joan was more than something of mere human construct.**

**Candace Reed shook hands with Sherlock when he came to her office and then they sat down to get acquainted. Joan had described him in detail to Candace, but Candace had never met him personally. In a sense he was just as she would have imagined him, but in other ways she was totally unprepared for the man, himself, the extremely jittery and obviously eccentric Englishman who presented himself to her. He was handsome enough in his own unique way, with his piercing blue-green eyes, finely sculptured features and wiry masculine stature, but it was his mental brilliance that fairly exuded from him, and Dr. Reed sensed that that was what had drawn Joan to this man. When she realized that fact, she could easily see why Joan was lost in her feelings for Sherlock. And yet, along with all the bravura of his personality, there was a certain endearing vulnerability about him. Joan would never find another man like him.**

**"Dr. Reed, I have come here because I am seeking help to resolve certain problems I am having in a relationship. I heard of you through one of your patients, Joan Watson. You know of her, I am sure?"**

**"Yes, Mr. Holmes, she visits me. Of course you would know that the nature of our sessions is confidential."**

**"Yes, of course. Joan, Miss Watson was the victim of a dangerous situation a few months ago and I encouraged her to resume her consultations with you. I was very concerned for her."**

**"Yes," the doctor replied simply without emotion.**

**Sherlock stirred nervously in his chair, running his fingers through his closely trimmed chestnut colored hair and then drumming his fingers on his thigh.**

**"Doctor, Joan and I have been apart for the past eight months. She . . .became involved with my brother and, even though that did not work out for them, it . . . caused a strain on our relationship, professional and otherwise."**

**"Why did that cause a strain on your relationship with Joan, Mr. Hol-"**

**"Please call me Sherlock," Sherlock interrupted.**

**"Yes, Sherlock. Why did that cause a problem? Were you and Joan in a personal relationship that went beyond professional boundaries?"**

**Sherlock looked at Dr. Reed with utter pain in his eyes before he replied.**

**"I . . . I fear that I am in love with Joan Watson. I love her as I have loved no one else in my life." **

**Sherlock's hands were shaking and his eyes filled suddenly when he declared himself so to this total stranger. He was forced to reach into his pocket to retrieve a clean, white handkerchief to wipe away the tears that were spilling over.**

**"Have you ever told Joan that you care for her this way?"**

**"No, I thought she knew my feelings. Frankly, Doctor Reed, she was abducted in a series of terrifying events that we were involved in and I was at the point of killing one of the men that I knew to be responsible for her abduction. I would not hesitate to do anything to protect her. In point of fact, my own life would have no value if anything were to happen to Joan. I have nurtured something very deep for her in . . . in my heart from when we first met. We lived in the same house for two years. I held myself back from trying to touch her because I wanted to maintain a proper professional distance but I always knew how I felt about her."**

**"Sherlock, you are obviously an extremely intelligent man. Did you think that Joan would somehow 'deduce' how you felt without your telling her?"**

**"We knew everything about each other. She met me at my lowest point. I had found myself mired in heroin addiction and she . . . she helped me. At first I resisted her help but the more I did to try to repel her. . . the more she put up with me. She has made me a better man in every way."**

**"So you both became very close over time even though you were not . . . lovers? Would that be a correct assessment of your relationship."**

**"Yes, I know her. I know everything about her. I know what pleases her and what drives her bonkers. I know her menstrual cycle; I know the time she empties her colon each day. I would pick out her clothes from her personal closet; I . . . I would often sit in her bedroom late at night just to watch her sleep. We ate together. I made her coffee. She made me tea. I stood by her when she was trying to cope with the loss of that patient that took her out of her career in medicine!"**

**"I must ask this as delicately as possible, Sherlock, but were you during this time involved in sexual activity with other women?"**

**"Yes, but that was simply for . . . relief. It meant nothing?" **

**Sherlock waved his hand in a manner the completely dismissed those activities as of no consequence.**

**"And did you ever tell Joan that you loved her as a man loves a woman?"**

**Sherlock shook his head and dropped his head into his hands. He could not speak.**

**"But why did she go with my brother?" He groaned in anguish, his blue green eyes full of his pain.**

**"We don't always know why we do certain things. The important question for you is whether you can forgive her. Can you forgive her for going with Mycroft the way she did?"**

**"I would forgive her a hundred times . . . like Rod Stewart in the Isley Brothers' song says, 'were she to leave me a hundred times, a hundred times I'll take her back.' She has me not knowing if I'm coming or going. I came back to New York because I can't get over her, doctor. She inhabits all my dreams. I think of her first when I waken in the morning; she keeps me awake at night wanting her. She is the beautiful woman of every poem or song I have ever known or heard. When I play the violin, there are certain pieces that I cannot even play now because the memories they engender of Joan are just too powerful for me to endure. When we parted, it was the closest I have come to taking my life since I was rehabilitated from heroin addiction. I was truly devastated."**

**"You contemplated suicide, Sherlock?"**

**"Yes, I did. But I knew that would disappoint Joan. And I could not bear to make her more unhappy."**

**"That would truly devastate her I am sure. You are too brilliant a man to throw your life away, Sherlock."**

**"Mental brilliance is no protection against what I experienced, Doctor Reed."**

**Candace Reed shook her head and sighed. She could finally put the pieces of the Sherlock/Joan puzzle together and she realized that Joan and Sherlock both truly had their hands full emotionally. They had deeply hurt each other and yet their feelings for each other still ran so deep that it seemed that neither could now be happy without the other.**

**"We live in a time where persons feel that they can separate basic sexual activity from their emotional commitment. Unfortunately this hardly ever works when a serious relationship is at issue.**

**"Sherlock, what seems to need to happen here is simply communication. You need to tell Joan how you feel, just like you told me here. Perhaps with open communication you will be able to salvage the relationship between you."**

**"I tried to vocalize my feelings recently. I spoke with Watson and told her that I felt she should know that I came back to New York because of her, that I feel somehow that we are bound together."**

**"And what did she say?"**

**"She said that she felt like she should give me a . . . a h-hug." Sherlock's voice caught in his throat and he dropped his head. "Damn, I so wanted that hug."**

**Dr. Reed smiled slightly, touched by the man's vulnerability, his need for the basics of human contact with the focus of his love.**

**"And what did you say to her speaking of her desire to hug you, Sherlock?"**

**"I said that that would be a rash decision. I knew that if I touched her I would not be able to stop touching her. I am under quite a bit of stress, doctor, and I didn't want to repulse her with an overtly sexual response."**

**"Joan is a mature adult with a definite understanding of human sexuality, Sherlock. You should not fear her response in a situation such as you have described. I encourage you to speak your heart to her. I ****will be glad to see you again in a week or so, Sherlock. I wish you success."**

**The very next afternoon Joan had an appointment with Candace Reed. When she sat down across from Dr. Reed, she was obviously emotionally disturbed.**

**"Joan, you don't quite seem to be yourself today."**

**"Sherlock is back, Candace. He has been back nearly a month. He asked to partner with me again on any terms that I would decide upon and . . . I . . . I agreed. Why did he come back?"**

**"Did you ask him why he came back, Joan?"**

**"Yes, and he said that he came back to New York because he belongs here. I sensed that he came back because of me somehow. He said as much. He said the he feels that we are 'bound together' somehow."**

**"How do you feel about that, Joan?"**

**Joan looked at Dr. Reed, overwhelmed, unable to answer for the moment.**

**"I have asked you before if you have feelings for Sherlock that go beyond the platonic, Joan, and despite the fact that you have consistently denied a romantic attachment, your attitude and reactions to him might suggest otherwise. Face the truth, Joan. How do you feel about Sherlock Holmes? Are you in love with him?"**

**"I . . . I don't know."**

**"I think that you really _do_ know the answer to that question."**

**"Honestly, I do care for him . . . some . . ." Joan's voice broke and she put her face in her hands and broke down in tears.**

**"I love him. I do love him. I always loved him. I even told him once that I loved just being in his orbit . . . breathing him in. God! When I saw him again, I just wanted to inhale him, to run to him, to smell him, to touch him, to feel him. I had to fight with myself to keep from hugging him when I saw him the first time after all those months. Now that feeling is growing by the day. What can I do? There, I have said it. He is the most amazing man I have ever known. But I ruined everything when I went with Mycroft. He wouldn't want me after all that has happened."**

**"Tell me, Joan, if you in your heart of hearts loved Sherlock, why did you go with Mycroft, the man's brother?"**

**"Candace, I . . . I have always had a healthy sex drive since puberty, but these last few years I must admit that it is even stronger. Seeing and being in close quarters with Sherlock constantly, but not touching him, fighting my feelings for him drove me crazy. Sherlock is a very attractive man. When Mycroft came along, it became easy to transfer certain feelings to him."**

**"And was being with Mycroft what you envisaged?"**

**Joan shook her head to indicate 'no,' unable to speak for the moment.**

**"But now I've ruined everything. Mycroft is gone from the picture and moreover, Sherlock would not want me now, after Mycroft has used me."**

**"How do you know? Have you asked him?"**

**"No, I haven't."**

**"Then I would suggest that you do that. That would be my counsel at this point, Joan. If, after that, you two wish to come for some sessions together, that would be something for the two of you to decide."**

**"Have you seen Sherlock?"**

**"Yes, I have, and that all that I can ethically say."**

**Joan got up and left Dr. Reed's office and went to her apartment and fell across her bed in tears. She did not want to discuss Mycroft with Sherlock. She still felt too much guilt over the whole episode to want to enter into a dialogue with Sherlock about it. She curled up in fetal position and cried herself to sleep. She wakened later that evening with that familiar dull ache in her lower back and realized that she was getting her period. She had been so engrossed in the Bella computer case and in dealing with Sherlock's return that it had slipped up on her. **

**Andrew called her wanting to take her to dinner, but she begged off. After going off to Copenhagen with him on a whim, she had realized that she and Andrew were not really suited to each other. She had tried to make this clear to him, but he seemed unwilling to take 'no' for an answer. In Copenhagen Andrew revealed how truly one-dimensional he was. Also Joan realized that Andrew's sexual temperament was a bit too tepid for her taste. In addition she had realized that if she sought anything more than once a day for sexual activity, Andrew would plead fatigue. It became obvious to Joan that working on a serious business project and maintaining a relationship was too much for him to do at the same time. When they came back to New York, Joan had basically ended their relationship.**

**Now she knew that she would have to drag herself up and go out to a drugstore for what she needed before the night was over; but**** the cramps she was suffering were not going to give her any peace. In fact they were getting worse and she was rapidly becoming nauseous. She moaned as she felt totally miserable and alone on her bed.**

**When she was feeling positively the worst possible, there was a knock on her door. Since it was someone who had already gained access to her building, she hoped it was not Andrew again. She dragged herself from her bed prepared to send him away again, but was shocked when she opened the door. Sherlock was there with a large shopping bag from CVS in his hand.**

**"Sherlock! You didn't call ahead. I'm not feeling well."**

**"I discern that. Earlier today when we parted, I observed a familiar pallor on your face and realized that you were on schedule for your catamenia, your menses. Thought I would pick up a few things for you in the event you needed personal supplies."**

**Joan stepped aside to let him into her apartment. She was wearing old gray sweats, her hair was a wild mess and she was about to double over with cramps.**

**"I needed . . . things and I am so sick I couldn't imagine how I would get what I need. Thank you, Sherlock."**

**"There should be some benefit in having lived together for two years, wouldn't you think?" He smiled as he handed her the shopping bag of supplies.**

** Joan looked inside and saw Pamprin, a couple large boxes of her favorite brand of tampons, plus a heating pad and a box of the special tea that she usually took for cramps.**

** "I will make you tea. Here, take the Pamprin, and then go and get in bed and I will bring you the tea."**

**Joan obediently followed his direction, went to the bathroom to take care of her personal situation and then got into bed under her covers. Slowly the discomfort she had been feeling began to ease and the hot tea and medication began to relax her. Sherlock plugged the heating pad in and lifted the blankets and put it on her painful belly without comment and without asking permission.**

**"How did you know exactly, Sherlock?"**

**"You know me, Joan. A while ago, long before I went to London I had calculated your cycle for the next two years. I wanted to be aware of when you might have bad days. You know that I have always been fascinated by your biology, the fact and function that is you, Watson."**

**There was a long awkward moment as Sherlock rocked forward and backward in his characteristic manner and flushed slightly.**

**"May I do a bit of massage on your feet, Watson. It might help."**

**Joan looked at him and in that instant she loved him. She nodded, and Sherlock lifted the blankets from her feet and sat down at the foot of her bed and began to massage her feet as Joan drifted off to sleep, but then she began to shiver with chills.**

**"Please turn up the thermostat. I'm freezing, Sherlock."**

**Sherlock turned up the heat and the sat back at the foot of her bed, kicked off his shoes, slipped his brightly colored yellow socks with the chartreuse dots off his feet and began to put a sock on one of her feet. But then he suddenly dropped the sock, and lifted and gently kissed her foot, kissing her instep with his lips and then taking her other tiny foot, he held it for a long moment, kissing her instep with his lips and then tenderly kissing the arch of each foot, and each ankle and finally, holding the sole of each foot in turn to his cheeks, his nostrils flared wide open as he kissed each of her tiny toes and they curled in response to the touch of his lips.**

**"Oh, Sherlock," Joan bit her lip and gasped softly. "Sherlock."**

**"Dash it all! I love you, dear Joan Watson. I love you more than anyone else in the whole world. I thought that distance would change things, but it hasn't. I saw you and my heart turned upside down in my chest three weeks ago. I love you, not ****just as the closest friend I have ever had, but as a man loves a woman. I lust for you . . . my flesh desires you. I had to come back to you, Joan, because I feel like you are the other part of me. And I love you more and more every day that I live. Please forgive me, Joan, but this won't go away. I can't help loving you the way that I do. My heart would have burst open if I couldn't tell you what is in my heart."**

**Sherlock finished by putting his socks on her feet and covering her back up.**

**Joan was left speechless, trying to process what had just happened between them, experiencing an uncontrollable reaction to Sherlock's kissing her feet so passionately.**

**"May I lie down with you to warm you?" His voice was soft, barely audible as he sat at the foot of her bed.**

**"Yes, Sherlock, you may." **

**Sherlock turned her bedside lamp down, shed his trousers and lay down against her under her covers, letting the heat of the length of his body warm her. Joan reached for his hand, drew it around her waist and held it there. ****His lips found a sensitive spot near her ear and kissed her there.**

**"Sherlock, I have missed you so much. I do love you too. I have needed you for so long."**

**"Do you lust for me as I lust for you?"**

**"Yes, Sherlock, I do," Joan whispered, flushing deeply.**

**Sherlock felt hot grateful tears spill down his cheeks. He could not speak. He simply lay close to Joan, warming her body with his body for the rest of the night.**

**The next morning Andrew knocked at Joan's door before he left for work. He was surprised when Sherlock answered her door, his hair standing on end, his shirt wrinkled and completely unbuttoned, no trousers, in his boxers and barefoot.**

**"I . . . I stopped by to check on Joan. She said that she wasn't feeling well last night."**

**"I would cast this as a menstruation issue, Andrew. She has a bad case of dysmenorrhea, cramps. I'm attending to her," Sherlock stated in his most clinical and dismissive manner.**

**Andrew stepped back and excused himself, somewhat gobsmacked by Sherlock's pointed response, realizing that Sherlock and Joan's relationship was much more than he had imagined.**

**"Just . . . just tell her I will call her later."**

**"I will do that," Sherlock said, closing the door as he spoke.**

**When Sherlock stepped back into Joan's apartment, he saw that she had gotten up and was trying to pull herself together despite her continuing discomfort. She had cleaned up and combed her long hair and braided it into two long fat braids. **

**Sherlock smiled down at her, suddenly shy before her.**

**"Are you feeling better?"**

**"Some. The cramps are still there but not as bad as they were last night. Thank you for being here for me." She rubbed her forehead. "I know that I look terrible."**

**"You are somewhat pale, but you are beautiful just the same. You are always quite lovely, Joan, even when you are unwell."**

**Sherlock flushed in a way he rarely did, realizing that his heart was speaking, and Joan blushed in response. **

**"I guess I should try to find my trousers and put them on. And then I will make you some more of your special tea. Why don't you just go back to bed, Joan?"**

**Joan nodded and walked back toward the bedroom and lay down. Her mind was clear now and she was reflecting on what had happened the night before. No man had ever made her feel the way Sherlock made her feel when he touched her. When he kissed her feet the night before, it had evoked such a sensual response in her, that she had swooned and her toes had curled involuntarily even though she was in pain.**

** Sherlock made tea and toast for both of them and brought it to her bedside and they sat in companionable silence drinking tea together.**

**"I guess that we should discuss what happened between us last night," Joan said softly.**

**Sherlock smiled shyly and flushed again.**

**"I got carried away, kissing your lovely . . . feet."**

**"Yes, you did. You made my toes curl, Sherlock . . . Even though I was so sick, you made my toes curl."**

**"I . . . didn't intentionally set out to arouse you sexually. I had not taken into account the effect what I was doing might have on you. I was quite caught up in my own feelings for you. I utterly adore you, Joan."**

**Joan smiled shyly at him and reached for his hand and squeezed it, enjoying the warmth of his flesh holding hers. The sensation of his touch caused shivers to run through her.**

**"In spite of living and working together we have hardly ever touched."**

**"I scrupulously avoided it because I did not trust myself, Joan. But I wanted to touch you . . . your cheeks, your hair, your shapely hips and . . . your, your soft round b-breasts. I do so want to touch your lovely breasts." Sherlock's voice broke and he brought Joan's hand to his lips and kissed it.**

**"Do you think that we should visit Dr. Reed together? She suggested it."**

**"Do you think that it would help us?" Sherlock asked. "I know that nothing will ever change my feelings for you, but I am willing to do whatever is necessary to make you happy and to protect you. I wasn't able to protect you from Le Milieu kidnapping you and that tore me apart. And I didn't declare my feelings for you and left you vulnerable to the likes of Mycroft and it devastated me when you went with him. It devastated me, Joan. I was so deeply wounded. I was hurt to the very core of me."**

**His blue-green eyes filled and spilled over as he stared at her and Joan felt her own emotions give way and she broke down in tears.**

**"Oh, Sherlock . . . I'm sorry. I am so sorry!"**

**Sherlock put the breakfast tray aside and gathered her into his arms and they cried together for the first time.**

**"I am so sorry that I hurt you . . . with Mycroft. Can you forgive me for Mycroft? I saw the look in your eyes when you saw me in his bed and I knew how hurt you were. I was so hurt when you left. I had made such a mess of everything."**

**"I forgive you. I forgive everything. You were traumatized by that kidnapping and I should have told you how I felt about you before then so that you would not have turned to someone like Mycroft. But it's just us now. . . you and me, Joan, no sarcasm, no cynicism. You have torn my heart open, Joan, and only you can heal my heart. It bleeds so for you."**

**Sherlock's eyes continued to spill over as Joan let herself go and they both finally cried their hearts out in each other's arms. He kissed her cheeks over and over and then her lips as Joan ran her fingers through his hair and kissed him back, both of them rocking tenderly as their emotions came to full expression in words of passionate affection for each other, words that they ****had never shared with each other. They felt each other's heart beating, pounding in unison in the emotion of the moment as they experienced such close physical contact.**

**"Sherlock . . . my dear Sherlock, I don't want your heart to bleed. I didn't want to be away from you, but I didn't think you cared for me that way. I wanted you so, but it seemed . . . it seemed that you didn't see me that way."**

**"Joan . . . sweetheart . . . I didn't want to make you cry. But I do love you. . . care for you. Don't you know that I need to see you every day of my life, luv. That is why I had to come back to New York. I cannot bear not seeing and being with you."**

**"I wish that I were up to entertaining your needs, Sherlock."**

**"I respect you, Joan, and I would never want to impose myself physically upon you at this time, but I had to tell you my feelings. I couldn't wait any longer, luv, or it would drive me out of my mind."**

**"Please stay here in bed with me for a while. I'm unwell with my period, but I would love it if you would sleep in my bed with me for a while longer tonight."**

**Sherlock eased under the covers and Joan lay upon his chest and gradually fell asleep nestled in the warmth of his embrace.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Love in a Life**

**By phaedraphelan **

**Chapter 2**

**Word count: 6,660**

**Summary: Sherlock and Joan take their first steps into new emotional territory.**

**Disclaimer: Elementary is the artistic property of CBS and no infringement is intended.**

**That first day when Sherlock and Joan faced the truth in their relationship was to set the tone for the rest of their lives together. The fact that Joan was sick with cramps was not an impediment to them talking their feelings out. In fact it was probably a good thing because it forced them to talk rather than rush to a speedy satisfaction of their long denied sexual passions. Instead they found themselves communicating on a level deeper than ever before while their need for sexual resolution grew hotter and hotter when they finally got out of bed later that first day.**

**Joan wakened with Sherlock's arms wrapped around her, their legs entwined, luxuriating in the warmth of his body and of his excited flesh against hers. When she sighed involuntarily, Sherlock became instantly awake.**

**"Forgive me, my dear Watson, but I am only human and I find myself waking up in a situation I have only dreamed about these past two years."**

**"I understand, Sherlock. I only wish that I were in condition to take care of your needs."**

**"Well, it's the thought that counts. It's nearly noon now, darling. I will leave your bed with regrets and try to take care of a few necessary matters. I would love to bring supper back this evening, if you will permit me. I have been missing Pad Thai from that place we used to go to ever since I left New York."**

**"Thank you, Sherlock, for coming, for telling me how you feel. I will never forget what happened here in this room last night when we declared ourselves, when we cried together and . . . you held me in your arms and . . . we, we"**

**"Told each other our truth . . ." Sherlock said, leaning over, lifting her long hair out of the way so that he could kiss Joan tenderly on that spot that he had discovered just below her ear. "I have wanted to do that for so long."**

**"I have wanted to feel your arms around me for so long."**

**Sherlock kissed her forehead and got up and began to pull himself together.**

**"Look in the bathroom cabinet and you will see extra toothbrushes and other things I have there for guests. By the way, did someone come by here early this morning?"**

**"Yes, your boyfriend Andrew came by to check on you."**

**"Actually you should call him my erstwhile boyfriend. I have tried to end things but he doesn't want to take 'no' for an answer. You went to my door like that?"**

**Joan was looking at Sherlock standing there in just his boxers with no self-consciousness whatever.**

**"Basically, yes. I told him that you were sick with your menstrual period and he went on his way."**

**"Sherlock, I will have to speak with him again. He thinks that there is a chance for us. But there is no chance for him in my life. I will take care of that. I will stop by there this evening. Unfortunately we had become close."**

**"Sex with him . . . sex with Andrew." Sherlock stated as a matter of fact.**

**"Yes, Sherlock. I did not know if you were ever coming back."**

**"Apparently he was not adequate for you?"**

**"Adequate?"**

**"Were you adequately sexed?"**

**Sherlock looked intently at Joan and the passion in his stare was powerful and Joan resisted him with her own fiery stare.**

**"What do you want me to say? I told you that I didn't know if I would ever see you again."**

**"I want to know if you still want him sexually. And I don't want you to speak out of pity for me. As much as I love you, I could not bear you to have me out of pity. I am a man and I can not abide being pitied, Joan. Mycroft may have used your need for a man to involve you with him sexually, but he also used your pity for me as a subterfuge to draw you to him. That is why I had to go back to London and settle the matter of Sedoma Hann. He lied to you about Sedoma Hann."**

**"Yes, Mycroft used my need to have a man in my life. I have that need or that weakness, whatever you want to call it. He sensed that weakness in me when we met in London and he used that to his advantage. I have to be honest with you, Sherlock. I am so perpetually in need that sometimes 'adequate' has to be enough. But Andrew was not adequate, not adequate enough. He couldn't understand the need I have. I felt like I was always putting pressure on him for sex."**

**"You are a passionate woman. I would say that you and I are kindred spirits on that score. I have never hidden my need to shag regularly. But we are not talking about our biology now. And if you will permit me to take care of your passionate needs, I guarantee that you will not describe my attention as merely 'adequate.' But we are talking about something that transcends our physical need for sexual connection, and makes it so powerful that it makes the sexual part simply that, a part of something far greater and more intense than even the act of sex, something that I have finally recognized as love. I must ask you again, Joan. Do you love me?"**

**"I love you and I want only you. You know that, Sherlock. I want you, Sherlock."**

**Sherlock caught Joan up in his arms and kissed her passionately on her mouth, tasting and drinking her kiss, taking Joan's breath away, pulling her up against his hard muscled frame.**

**"Oh, Sherlock . . . Sherlock," Joan swooned in his arms as he kissed her all over her face and neck, losing his grip on what remained of his self-control.**

**The softness of Joan in his arms and the fragrant scent of her hair intoxicated Sherlock and his nostrils dilated as he groaned her name over and over, continuing to kiss Joan till he finally had to force himself to release the tightness of his embrace of her for fear he would injure her in her delicate state.**

**"I need you, Joan. I have needed you and wanted you for so long."**

**"Oh, Sherlock, I want to take care of your need. I do."**

**"I will be patient, luv, but I am in pitiful shape here. Forgive me for my libidinous state. May I come and sleep in your bed tonight? I just have to be close to you, dearest Joan, my dearest Joan."**

**"Yes . . . Sherlock, yes. Please come back to my bed tonight."**

**Joan stepped out of Sherlock's arms and took a key from her dresser and gave it to him.**

**"I know you don't need a key if you want to get in here so this is symbolic. It means that you don't have to ask to come here."**

**Sherlock hugged Joan again and stole several more kisses on her cheeks and lifted her thick black hair so that he could kiss that special spot just below her ear on her neck again as she nudged him to finish getting dressed.**

**"Sherlock . . . Sherlock, Umm."**

**Sherlock caught Joan up to him again and held her close for a long moment, tracing her features with the index finger of one hand as his other hand gently rubbed up and down her spine under her cotton pajama top.**

**"It means so much for me to be able to touch you, Joan. Did you want to touch me as much as I wanted to touch you, luv?"**

**"I wanted to put my hands on you . . . in your hair, on your bare chest . . . Sherlock. And this isn't a matter of pity."**

**"Why couldn't we? Why didn't we? Joan, I'm so sorry . . . but I will never let you be in that kind of need again if it is in my power."**

**Sherlock bent and kissed Joan's lips tenderly, finished dressing and reluctantly took his leave from Joan.**

**Joan showered and dressed in slacks and a warm bright blue sweater. She was still suffering mild chills but she tried to put some color on her pale cheeks. Finally she pulled her long hair into a neat pony tail. It was nearly five when she walked from her apartment down the hall to Andrew's place and knocked on his door.**

**"I was hoping that you were home, Andrew."**

**Andrew stepped back, inviting Joan to come in and Joan stepped inside his door. He was obviously trying to make the best of what he sensed was going to be the final end of things with Joan.**

**"I just wanted to thank you for checking on me. I was having a really bad day."**

**"Yeah. So what is it with you and that British guy? He spent the night with you."**

**"Yes, he did. I love him and I am not going to lead you on. I have told that we are done, Andrew. I don't want ****you to think that you and I could ever be serious. Sherlock and I have a history."**

**"I am disappointed. I still thought . . . hoped that perhaps . . . I thought we had something, something special." Andrew stopped, realizing from the detached look in Joan's eyes that there was nothing more to say on that. "I will see you around, Joan. You go and have a happy life."**

**Joan walked out and back down the hall to her apartment. Her hands were shaking, but she was glad to have settled the matters with Andrew. She wished that things had not become intimate ****with him, that her own sex drive had not pushed her into Andrew's arms. His lovemaking now seemed almost childish when she compared it to the sensation of Sherlock kissing her feet the night before or his ravenously kissing her that very morning as his body had vibrated against hers.**

**Sherlock went by the brownstone to pick up a few personal things. He showered and changed into fresh clothes, paying special attention to himself. Afterward, he could hardly keep from smiling as he puttered with his computers, humming softly. He didn't even notice that Kitty was standing watching him.**

**"So you just walk out and don't come back!" she said sarcastically. **

**"Sometimes that is the case, Kitty. I advise you to concentrate on your projects that you have there . . . no need to concern yourself with me. You are basically a tenant here. Don't forget that."**

**"I think you've been with _her_."**

**Sherlock did not answer, wondering what had possessed him to bring this insolent girl into his inner circle.**

**Kitty stood looking at him with her arms folded.**

**"I think you're screwin' her. That's what I think. I see the way you look at her. I'm not stupid."**

**"Think what you like, Kitty. You are developing fairly good powers of deduction. But you're on thin ice, young lady."**

**Sherlock got up from his computer, picked up his gear and walked straight out of the brownstone. He was in a state of euphoria unlike anything he had ever experienced. All he could think about was seeing and being with Joan again. His heart was beating faster at just the thought of her. He felt compelled to share his happiness so he stopped by Alfredo's place. **

**"Say, Sherlock, you said you were coming back. Man, it's great to see you. How is everything going?"**

**"I would say splendidly, Alfredo." **

**"And . . . Joan, you've seen her?"**

**"Alfredo, we . . . yes . . . I . . . I think that we are finally together. We talked and we . . . touched each other and, and we kissed each other and . . . other things. We are in love, Alfredo, and I think I am beginning to understand what love is for the first time in my life."**

**"I'm happy for you, man. I really am. I always thought you two would make it."**

**"I had to tell someone who would understand what I'm feeling. I'm going there now. I will be in touch in a few days."**

**Sherlock left, picking up a huge bouquet of roses for Joan, and then stopped for food on his way there, texting Joan to let her know that he was on the way.**

**When he got to Joan's, he used the key Joan had given him to let himself in. Joan was sleeping across her bed, obviously still feeling somewhat under par. She had tried to pull herself together for Sherlock, putting on a pair of green silk pajamas that she had bought on a whim at a recent Bloomingdale's sale. Sherlock put the food down in the kitchen; but he did not waken Joan. Instead he took off his jacket and shoes and lay down beside her to watch her sleep. When Joan moaned softly in her sleep and murmured his name, Sherlock drew her into his embrace and wrapped his arms around her and held her as Joan nestled against him.**

**"Um, Sherlock, you're back." Joan reached to touch the stubble on his face.**

**"I brought Thai food. We should probably eat."**

**"I wish I felt better for you, Sherlock. You look so handsome this evening. And the flowers, the roses are lovely. Thank you."**

**Joan smiled at Sherlock. He was trying to exercise all possible restraint but she knew him and she knew that he was in need of attention, because his hand was trembling as he pulled her hair out of its pony tail so that it spread over her pillow and then he pushed her hair aside so that he could kiss her on her neck and then on her soft cheek and then he buried his face in her bosom. Joan reached for the back of his hand and took it and kissed it and then rubbed her cheek against the silky hairs on the back of his hand.**

**"I just want to be close to you. I have loved you for so long, Joan."**

**They stared into each other's eyes and saw their truth there. Sherlock bent his head and kissed her hands over and over.**

**"Sherlock, I am so lost in my feelings for you."**

**"As I am as well." Sherlock took a deep breath to try to calm himself. "Just lie here and rest. I'll have something to eat and make you some tea."**

**Joan lay watching Sherlock move easily about her apartment in his characteristic manner, his slender, but muscular physique as always a pleasure for her to watch. **

**Sherlock made tea for Joan which Joan gratefully drank and then with his urging she let him feed her some of the food from his plate, just like innumerable times before. Sherlock was affectionate and solicitous as he lay across Joan's bed facing her as they talked, catching up on the months they had spent apart. Finally Sherlock and Joan looked into each other's eyes and reached for each other. Joan unbuttoned Sherlock's shirt so that she could touch his chest and then she loosened his belt and his trousers. Joan had fought against her attraction to the physical man, Sherlock. She had deliberately sought the companionship of men that had no physical resemblance to him as if to deny what she knew in the depths of her heart, that she found every aspect of him profoundly attractive in every way.**

**"Please take these things off and get comfortable, Sherlock. I want to look at you."**

**"Yes, ma'am," Sherlock said, standing up to remove his clothes.**

**Joan watched him hang his shirt and slacks in her closet and then he removed his underwear and Joan just stared at him, at every part of him. He was not at all self-conscious about his nakedness in front of Joan. He was slender and ruddy, yet quite muscular, his shoulders and hips in beautiful symmetry all adorned with silky chestnut hair along with the signature tattoos that Joan knew well as well as a tattoo high upon his left thigh that Joan saw for the first time. It was a tattoo of a honeybee. The same chestnut hair began to curl as it continued in a line down his flat belly descending to and then generously surrounding his impressive genitalia which Joan was seeing for the first time. He was intact, solid and heavy and beautiful.**

**"So do I pass inspection, my dear Watson?"**

**"Your body is so handsome, Sherlock . . . just as I imagined. That is an interesting tattoo on your thigh.****"**

**"That is an homage to you, luv," Sherlock said with a sly wink as he**** came back to lie down next to Joan in her bed.**

**Sherlock unfastened the top of Joan's pajamas, pushed the fabric away and gasped softly as her dainty breasts were revealed to his sight for the first time.**

**"Your breasts . . . are so beautiful. I have so wanted to touch your nipples, to suckle. They are perfectly shaped, like two lovely teardrops." Sherlock leaned forward and kissed each of her breasts, inhaling the fragrance of her silky skin. The scent of the Mitsouko perfume she wore mingled with her personal scent to thoroughly intoxicate Sherlock.****"Joan, I . . . I have dreamed of this so . . . many lonely nights. Your breasts, so warm and soft, luv, all chocolate-colored nipples and crinkly aerolae like delicate flowers. I don't want to spend another night of my life away from you."**

**When Sherlock began to suckle, Joan inadvertently flinched because her breasts were tender because of her menstrual period, and Sherlock immediately sensed it and stopped. **

**"I'm sorry. I don't want to cause you pain."**

**"Oh, Sherlock . . . Sherlock, I'm sorry. It's just because of my period," Joan moaned softly and held his head to her breasts, her fingers in his hair, gently scratching his scalp. "When my period is done, you may suckle as much as you want to."**

**"I will file that away for future reference, luv. Joan . . . will you please touch me . . . please? Now I need you to touch me, woman. Please put your hands on me."**

**Sherlock found Joan's lips in kiss after tender kiss as he took Joan's hand and drew it to where he craved her touch.**

**"Sherlock . . . you want . . . me to . . ."**

**"Yes, Joan! Yes!" Sherlock gasped and groaned as she caressed him directly, taking him for herself, possessing and knowing his flesh till he shuddered and grunted, his handsome features contorting as he cried out in ecstasy when those bright lights flashed in his brain at the moment of his release. **

**"Joan . . . Joan," Sherlock groaned as he gradually came back to his senses. "I have craved the touch of your hand so many nights. I have never been . . . touched . . . fondled with such effect."**

**"Well, a knowledge of anatomy helps, you know," Joan said with a tender smile, "and a desire to bring you pleasure. You are like a museum piece in that area, my dear Sherlock . . . quite exceptional."**

**"This belongs only to you now, my dear Watson . . . God! I have wanted you so. I have missed you terribly these eight long months. I will never find someone else who knows me so well . . . all my weaknesses . . . all my needs. I didn't want to leave you but I had to know that I could be strong enough for you. I am an addict, so I had to prove to myself that I was past the time in my life when I would turn to heroin in times of despair, times of loneliness or I couldn't offer myself to you. That was the thought that kept me clean while we were apart. I had to prove that I could be your man, that you could rely on me, that you would not have to be a perpetual caregiver. If I cannot prove myself worthy to be your man, I realize that I have little incentive for anything else."**

**Joan buried her face in Sherlock's hairy chest, inhaling the clean fresh woody scent of his body, along with the scent of his life essence upon her hand. She rubbed her face against the silky hair on his forearms, then his muscled chest and belly. Joan squeezed his hard firm hips and flanks, getting to know his body all over as she had never known it before as they lay facing each other, whispering their own special words to each other till their emotions began to settle and Sherlock wrapped his arms around Joan and buried his face between her breasts as they fell asleep under her covers.**

**It was early the next morning, Sunday, when both their phones began to ring. It was Gregson. There had been a horrific murder in TriBeCa, a whole family of three, parents and teenage son, killed execution style.**

**"It looks like we must go, my dear Watson, if you feel up to it. I will go along, pick up Kitty, and you may join us later. I realize that you are not fully back to your normal energy level."**

**"I will catch up with you."**

**Sherlock stopped for a moment and kissed Joan hard and quick on her mouth as he went for a quick shower before dressing to leave. **

**"Incidentally, Kitty asked me where I had been when I went by the brownstone yesterday. She accused me of having been with you . . . copulating, although that is not the terminology she used. You have no doubt noted a certain crudeness in her speech."**

**"So she is learning to deduce things," Joan said smiling.**

**"That impudent young woman . . . What was I thinking bringing her here to New York?"**

**"You meant well. Don't be too harsh on her, Sherlock. She seems to have your number where we are concerned."**

**"I was happy . . . and I couldn't hide it, I guess."**

**"Do you think we should?"**

**"I don't care who knows how I feel about you, Joan. We can try to maintain some privacy, but we are adults and we have the right to love each other."**

**Sherlock bent to kiss Joan one more time before he left to meet Gregson and Bell. He picked up Kitty at the brownstone and they continued on their way in the early Sunday morning darkness.**

**"So you stayed out all night again, eh? Must be good."**

**"Life is good, Kitty. Except for victims of crime. That is why we are going to a crime scene now."**

**"She is nice. I've decided that I like her." **

**"Her?"**

**"Watson. You've been with Watson. I smell her perfume on you. Guerlain Mitsuko. Two nights. Pretty serious, I'd say."**

**Sherlock did not respond, did not even look at Kitty, aware that his feelings were much too difficult to conceal at this stage of the game.**

**The family that had been slaughtered lived in a large apartment served by a doorman and electronic surveillance. **

**"There's no sign of forced entry," Bell said to Sherlock. Kitty was slowly walking around the murder scene. "So where's Watson? Is she coming?"**

**"She will be along. She has been under the weather for the past couple of days. She is nearly back to normal."**

**"You and she are okay these days?"**

**"Yes, we are actually quite good . . . the best."**

**Sherlock flushed helplessly and it did not go unnoticed by Bell, who smiled to himself for a long moment before continuing to examine the crime scene.**

**After they had been nearly an hour at the crime scene, Joan Watson arrived. She was feeling basically herself now and she ****looked quite stunning as she walked toward Sherlock. She was wearing a black sweater and a leather skirt that complemented her coloring beautifully, her hair down on her shoulders. He stopped short, staring at her before he collected himself.**

**"Ah, Watson, there you are. This is quite a scene of violence here. We're trying to determine the point of egress of the perpetrator. It's a conundrum of sorts. Look around and see what you think. I don't have the foggiest at this point."**

**Joan went into the downstairs bathroom and there she noticed a slight irregularity, a bow in one of the walls near the sink.**

**"Sherlock, please come here and look at this."**

**Sherlock inspected the area in question and then asked for an ax to open the wall up. When they broke through the wall, they discovered that there was a hidden compartment behind the wall containing a bag of money, large denomination bills. They were very close in the confines of the powder room and when they stood up, it was difficult for them to maintain their distance.**

**"Excuse me . . . Watson," Sherlock said as her fragrance filled his nose when he sidled by her. **

**When they came out of the powder room, they were both quite flushed. Kitty simply rolled her eyes in their direction.**

**The money would prove to be the missing link that would explain the crime. Gregson sent the money to be examined and to be catalogued as to its source. The rest of the next two days were spent tracking down the source of the million plus dollars and discovering that the murdered broker was being blackmailed by a high-ranking member of a gang of counterfeiters to give inside trading information. The money was to pay off the blackmailer.**

**It was evening of the second day when everything was nailed down and the assistant to the broker from his firm was placed under arrest as the blackmailer. The teenage son had been killed because he walked in at the wrong time and was a witness who knew the blackmailer personally. It was all very tragic.**

**Sherlock and Joan, along with Kitty ended up back at the brownstone in the evening, having a pizza to celebrate the end of the case. Joan made a pot of tea and she and Sherlock sat on the sofa in companionable silence decompressing. Kitty had retreated to her room upstairs.**

**"Joan . . ." Sherlock reached over and caught her hand in his. "How are you feeling now?"**

**"I'm tired, but better. I . . . I'm basically back to normal now. It was a terrible case what with the teenage boy walking in at the wrong time like that. So sad."**

**"You made the discovery of that hidden money and that broke the case wide open as far as I'm concerned. You were your usual brilliant self."**

**"Well, you are the one that taught me to check walls to make sure they aren't hiding anything. I will never forget that case where that woman hid her husband's body behind a wall in their house?"**

**Joan got up to heat the water for more tea on the stove. Sherlock's eyes followed her as she moved easily across the room. As she moved to the sink to rinse out their cups, Sherlock stood up and came over behind her. He lifted her long hair out of the way and bent to kiss her neck. **

**"Um, Sherlock, you love that spot on my neck, don't you?"**

**Sherlock's hands squeezed her hips as he pressed against her from behind.**

**"My God, Joan, I need you so," he murmured into her ear.**

**"Sherlock, we aren't alone. We can't allow ourselves to get carried away like this."**

**"I fear that I am quite carried away already. I'm so in love with you, woman."**

**Sherlock turned Joan to face him, pulled her up against his body, and kissed her full on her mouth and she kissed him back.**

**At that moment Joan heard footsteps on the stairs and pulled away just as Kitty came into view. Sherlock turned his back so that his state of excitement would not be evident.**

**"Hey, I'm going to a movie. Give you two some privacy here. See you later on." **

**"Sure, Kitty," Joan answered a bit too brightly **

**"Of course," Sherlock barely managed to say.**

**Kitty bounced out of the house with a knowing glance at Sherlock and Joan. **

**"Oh, God, Joan, my passions are overwhelming me. Please come to bed with me," Sherlock murmured as he turned **

**He scooped her up in his arms, carried her into his bedroom and kicked the door closed behind them, ravishing her with his kisses the whole time. Once they were in the bedroom, they hastily pulled each other's clothes off and lay down together, kissing and caressing each other with wild abandon.**

**"Joan . . . luv . . . luv, I need you so. Woman, I'm so crazy for you. Is this our moment?"**

**"Yes, Sherlock, yes . . . yes, I want you." **

**Joan sighed and swooned as Sherlock kissed her all over her body. He started at her feet kissing her feet and rubbing her calves and her thighs and then her hips, squeezing and gently pinching them.**

**"I have wanted to do this since the first time you walked away from me swinging your arse the way you do."**

**Joan squealed softly as he continued to playfully pinch and squeeze her hips and kiss her over and over.**

**"Oh, Sherlock . . .Sherlock. . ."**

** Finally his sensitive fingers found and stroked and caressed her most intimate parts so skillfully that Joan could not help crying out his name in ecstasy as she fluttered like a butterfly in his arms.**

**"Yes . . . Yes, Sherlock!"**

**"Joan . . . Joan, I am so in love you!"**

**They were coming together in intercourse and the pleasure of joining was so intense that they both lost vision at the moment they began to join****.**

**"Sherlock . . . Sherlock, ooh!" Joan cried out as the girth of his parts nearly overwhelmed her.**

**"I don't want to hurt you. Please don't let me hurt you, luv!"**

**"Don't stop . . . don't stop!" Joan's body accepted his joyously.**

**"Oh God! God! Yes, God!" Sherlock, the man who never had even accepted the existence of a higher power, cried out, trembling from head to foot as his flesh became one with the woman he loved. **

**Sherlock groaned as they began to rock rhythmically together, bringing Joan such exquisite pleasure that she wailed out loud in his arms, unable to hold back the sounds of her joy. **

**"Sherlock . . . baby! Yes! Yes!"**

**Sherlock was gone, snorting and gasping like a wild horse on her, as he rotated upon her in the timeless rhythm of coitus, gripping her hips so tightly that there would be blue bruise marks there later, kissing her passionately as they moved together. When the climax took her, Joan's teeth began to chatter and she dragged long scratches across his back as she jerked and shook in spasm after spasm. Then Joan felt something she had never felt as the bottom seemed to drop from under her and she floated in total surrender in Sherlock's arms as he shouted out loud as his body went rigid in spasm just before he ejaculated deep inside her.**

**"Joan! Joan! God!" Sherlock saw stars exploding in his brain.**

**"Sherlock . . . Oh, Sherlock . . ."**

**When Sherlock felt the moment of Joan's surrender, that moment of her capitulation, that moment when she gave in to him, seeming to melt in his arms in a way that no woman had ever done, tears flooded his eyes and he sobbed.**

**"Darling . . . Joan, I love you more than anyone else n the . . . in the whole world . . . God knows I love you."**

**"Sherlock . . . Sherlock, yes . . . I . . . love . . . love you."**

**They lay still joined as their passions gathered strength and they began to rock in rhythm again climbing to the summit together till those bright blue lights began to explode in their brains. **

**"Sherlock . . . Oh, God . . . yes," Joan sighed, her slide into surrender complete as Sherlock wrapped his arms around her and held her as they both began to slip into the afterglow. ****"Sherlock Holmes. I love you so much. Just hold me , Sherlock."**

**"I feel you loving me, dearest Joan Watson. At last . . . at last I finally know what love is! I know what love is, Joan," he sobbed as he held her against his wildly throbbing heart as he kissed her tenderly over and over. **

**They fell asleep, exhausted lovers in each other's arms, sated and finally satisfied. It was nearly daybreak when Joan wakened, wrapped in Sherlock's embrace. Realizing that she was in Sherlock's bed, she luxuriated for the moment in the sensations that she was still feeling in her body as a result of their coming together earlier. With Sherlock she had felt something that had eluded her all of her adult life, that moment of surrender during release, that floating sensation of completeness when he held her in his arms as the very deepest part of her was wracked with the most powerful spasms of orgasm she had ever experienced. She knew in her heart that she had finally found the man she wanted to be with for the rest of her life.**

**Sherlock wakened and held Joan close, letting his hand roam freely over her, wanting nothing but more of Joan at the moment.**

**"Is everything all right with you, luv?"**

**"Yes . . . Yes, baby . . . Yes." **

**"Joan . . . How did we stay apart for so long?"**

**"But Sherlock, I am in your bed now. How are we to explain this to your protégée?"**

**"You don't have to explain anything to Kitty. We are two adults who love each other. I will speak to Kitty and explain matters, although I think that she has figured this one out. I would very much like you to just relax here in bed with me till you are ready to get up for the day. I am lying here in my bed touching and looking at you, love of my life, and I cannot describe how happy I find myself at this moment. . . Joan . . . Luv, I am so caught up in this moment."**

**Sherlock kissed Joan repeatedly, wooing her with his words and with his kisses till she moaned his name and welcomed him once again in the early morning darkness. **

**"Oh, Sherlock . . . Sherlock . . ." **

**Joan sighed as her irresistible lover took her again.**

**"It's perfect . . . we fit so perfectly, dearest . . . Joan . . ."**

**"Sherlock, I can't keep quiet. I can't!"**

**Joan was vibrating under him, her tongue completely loosened as she received Sherlock, unable to keep quiet, her nails digging into his shoulders as he brought her to ecstasy again and again till finally a flood of her own essence thrilled him and Sherlock snorted, growling as he came, a brilliant kaleidoscope of color lighting his brain and leaving him panting on her breasts. **

**Sherlock and Joan lay dazed in the aftermath of their early morning coupling, murmuring love words and stroking and caressing each other as they drifted between sleep and waking.**

**Joan moaned softly reaching for Sherlock's face.**

**"Yes, luv, yes?"**

**"I'm still . . . vibrating inside . . . Umm, Sherlock, help me, baby."**

**Sherlock caught Joan up to his chest and cherished her there, kissing her tenderly over and over.**

**"Joan . . . my lovely Joan. Oh, God!"**

**"I can't stop trembling inside. Oh, Sherlock, help me!"**

**Sherlock eased himself into Joan again growling her name and, with a series of deep deliberate thrusts, brought the ultimate satisfaction to Joan as she moaned in his arms.**

**"Yes, Sherlock . . . thank you . . . thank you, baby. Oh, Sherlock! Sherlock!" **

**Sherlock felt Joan's whole body contract at the supreme moment and then dissolve in exquisite surrender. He buried his face between her breasts to try to muffle the sound of his own crying out as his pelvis went into spasm as he ejaculated once again.**

**"Joan . . . Joan, luv . . . luv, was it good for you?" His voice was a hoarse whisper.**

**"Yes . . . I've been waiting for you all my life . . . all my life. I thought vaginal orgasm was a myth, Oh, Sherlock! Please . . . don't, don't ever leave me." **

**Joan lay conquered, too exhausted to even lift her arms to embrace him.**

**"I shan't be going anywhere . . . ever." **

**Sherlock tenderly kissed Joan, smoothing her dark hair, literally breathing her in as she began to come to herself. He finally realized how intensely sensual Joan was, how much she would need his constant attention to take care of her raging libido.**

**"My lovely passionate Joan, you do need me as I need you, don't you, darling?"**

**"I have needed you for so long . . . so long. I only wanted you . . . all this time."**

**"We both have suffered so, luv, but you don't have to suffer any more for the lack of this. Just give me that look and I will gladly rise to the occasion."**

**Joan and Sherlock were lying nestled together like two matching spoons dozing as morning came.**

**"Do you still have that old ragged blue woolen robe that I love?"**

**"Sure. I'll get it."**

**"I need to go upstairs to the bathroom and I want to be clothed if I run into Kitty."**

**"It's nearly seven. I will make coffee while you freshen up."**

**Joan went upstairs to the bathroom and took a quick shower and came back downstairs where Sherlock stood in his worn jeans and a wrinkled tee shirt, making toast to go with coffee. **

**"Ah, there you are, my dear Watson. You look quite beautiful this morning, radiant, in fact." **

**He winked at Joan and her insides went to jelly as she felt herself blushing in Sherlock's passionate stare. She had seen herself in the bathroom mirror and knew the Sherlock had given her a glow that she could not hide from anyone this day.**

**"You look pretty good yourself, you know," she said, taking note of how relaxed and free from his characteristic tension Sherlock was. And then there was the heat in his blue-green eyes that was the memory of them together.**

**That is when Kitty decided to come downstairs. She took a look at a very flushed Sherlock standing there with his hair still mussed from bed and then she looked at a radiant Watson wrapped in Sherlock's old blue robe, and shrugged her shoulders in acknowledgment of what she had surmised already. She had also heard their muffled cries of pleasure resound through the old house during the quiet of the predawn hours.**

**"Ah, Kitty, I am making coffee and toast for Watson and myself. Do you wish to be included?" **

**Kitty looked from one to the other and turned to go toward the front door. **

**"No thanks. I wouldn't want to intrude. You two seem to need some space. I'm going out to Starbuck's. Be back in a couple hours. You can reach me by phone if there is a case."**

**Neither Joan nor Sherlock responded or even looked in Kitty's direction as she took her leave. Joan came toward Sherlock and he caught her by the hand, kissed it, and drew her close, leading her to the sofa and pulling her down onto his lap. **

**"Thank you, Joan, for loving me," he said, kissing her mouth again and again as he let his sensitive fingers rove over her. "Oh, God, Joan!"**

**Finally he growled deep in his throat as he pushed the rough wool of his robe off her shoulders so that he could see and kiss and inhale the scent of her creamy citrine colored skin.**

**"Um, my Sherlock is so curious, isn't he?"?"**

**"I want to know you, but even realizing that I will never solve completely the mystery that is you, doesn't lessen my desire for that knowledge. I am stimulated beyond imagining by you, Joan."**

**Sherlock pushed the robe completely off her so that he could let his fingers and his lips roam over her breasts, just touching her sensitive nipples with his fingertips and then with his lips very gently, very lightly.**

**"I deduced that your lovely udders are quite sensitive when you are menstruating. I hope they can tolerate my attention now, luv."**

**"Oh, yes, baby, I'm all right now . . . all right, ooh, Sherlock!" **

**Joan caught his head to her breasts as Sherlock gently suckled for several moments and then continued his exploration, his fingers grazing her flat belly and then dropping lower. Joan moaned softly as Sherlock continued his exploration, gasping as he first saw her intimate woman's parts in the full light of day.**

**"Joan, luv . . . You are so beautiful." **

**Sherlock eased her onto her back on the sofa with his arms under her thighs, kissing her belly and then beyond as Joan gasped, running her fingers through his hair scratching his scalp with her fingernails as she trembled in ecstasy.**

**"Will you accept me here right now, luv? Please, Joan."**

**"Yes! Yes! Sherlock!"**

**They came together on the sofa in the next moment and they were gone, lost in the demands of their passionate flesh. It was quite a while before they started to come back to themselves, panting and gasping. Sherlock cherished Joan in his embrace, kissing her all over her face as he wrapped her in his robe, picked her up, and carried her off to his bed again murmuring, **

**"No casework for us today, luv."**


End file.
